George Carlin - Stand Up About Religion

  Үзсэн тоо 4,773,397

Matti Holden

2 жилийн өмнө

A video I put together containing George Carlin's stand up clips about religion.
I hope George's family don't mind me making and sharing this.

If you're still reading, you could do something really positive that would hopefully inspire the pupils at my school. It would be excellent if you could download and rate/review my completely free new game app called 'One Lap Reloaded', which I made to show my pupils it was possible. Here are the links:
Thank you and take care

lostOntheMoon 6 цагийн өмнө
"Thou shalt always be honest and faithful to the provider of thy nooky"
Miles 6 цагийн өмнө
George Carlin is a philosopher disguised as a comedian . His stand up comedy routines will probably stand the test of time because of the insightful and sincere messages he was delivering to the American public .
Kenneth Dano
Kenneth Dano 7 цагийн өмнө
I don't get the "burning the books" part. Can anyone please explain.
Mar Rin
Mar Rin 7 цагийн өмнө
If God didn't exist, it would be necessary to preach about God
Ryan Fralich
Ryan Fralich 8 цагийн өмнө
The all-time greatest.
jmjdje 9 цагийн өмнө
Brilliant video. Thanks for the upload!!
Egrin Targ
Egrin Targ 10 цагийн өмнө
If you don't like religious people you could do like China and harvest their organs.
Jason Nester
Jason Nester 17 цагийн өмнө
Used to like Carlin till he said this
J_ 524
J_ 524 17 цагийн өмнө
Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand. -Matthew 3:2 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. -John 14:6 And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house. -Acts 16:31 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. -John 3:16 “He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.” -1 John 4:8 KJV
thatonlyking 727
thatonlyking 727 15 цагийн өмнө
“If you can make her laugh and giggle you can make her cheeks clap and jiggle.” Niggalations 13:45
Michael Collazo
Michael Collazo 17 цагийн өмнө
Ill reference star trek Spock " what does god need with a space ship".
Mike Willams
Mike Willams 18 цагийн өмнө
sarah mackenzie
sarah mackenzie 19 цагийн өмнө
Very awsome
EDP445's cupcake
EDP445's cupcake 19 цагийн өмнө
Shiva Gautama Christ-chan bless America
Soap Waffles
Soap Waffles Өдрийн өмнө
`` Joe Pesci ``
Kevin Martinez
Kevin Martinez Өдрийн өмнө
I recently had an epiphany about religion. Religion is there simply to spark your curiosity about life. Once the curiosity is there you no longer need Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, etc. Or how my teacher Wim Hof said when asked about enlightenment and what he thinks about the sages like Buddha and Jesus "Be happy, strong, and healthy, the rest is bullshit."
TheTruth About Science and God
TheTruth About Science and God Өдрийн өмнө
Please share this brief video with others:
James Crosby
James Crosby Өдрийн өмнө
Excellent George, simply excellent.
Avery Marx
Avery Marx Өдрийн өмнө
Enjoy hell
Alain-Daniel Tankwa
Alain-Daniel Tankwa Өдрийн өмнө
God won't be God if we could understand Him. We don't even understand ourselves. It's kinda presumptuous to expect to understand Him
Alain-Daniel Tankwa
Alain-Daniel Tankwa Өдрийн өмнө
Prove of God's existence doesn't mean He exists. Prove of His nonexistence doesn't mean He doesn't exist. He exists or not irrespective of our opinion.
Anthony M
Anthony M Өдрийн өмнө
It's hilarious that an ad for the Jehovah witness church pops up during this video! I guess they don't need to knock on my door anymore..😔 Too bad cuz they're really good at helping clean my house.
Ahmad Ahmad
Ahmad Ahmad Өдрийн өмнө
During this miserable age of cancel culture; I ponder what would be happening to George, had he lived through this age and faced numerous failed endeavour of those pathetic pricks who conspired vainly to blast some dirt of cancel culture to George.. Nowadays, even established names were so afraid of being cancelled and black-listed
Jungle King
Jungle King Өдрийн өмнө
Its amazing how some people can reach such an old age and still lack wisdom and be praised as a legend and treated as a celebrity.
Gavin Sandlin
Gavin Sandlin Өдрийн өмнө
You explained fix but you just described government
Aman Kumar Sharan
Aman Kumar Sharan 2 өдрийн өмнө
31:30 😂😂
Stonetwisted 2 өдрийн өмнө
Truth, Truth and Truth,...and well said, especially keep religion to yourself. damn true !
wayne Brewer
wayne Brewer 2 өдрийн өмнө
there is a GOD but he is a bit of an asshole.
back 2 өдрийн өмнө
Yet you are dead and God is still alive what a big fool
vasari corridor
vasari corridor 2 өдрийн өмнө
Let us not forget that most of the founding fathers were Freemasons. Not just low level ones, who really believe that Freemasonry is just a brotherhood of noble men united by the Christian ethics and spirituality. They were high degree Freemasons, who were very much aware of the satanic and kabb a listic basis of their belief system. So from the very beginning the USA has been a Freemason state destined to fullfil its role of corrupting the whole world to make it embrace the so-called NWO. USA has been given by the world clept ocracy the money power by means of the petrodollar specifically for accomplishing the purpose of corruption. Just look how much genetically modified crops, insane technological gadgets, junk food, weapons prono graphy is produced by the US companies daily and exported throughout the world. And this is not to mentioned the degenerate Hollywood "culture" and music industry. As for the Supreme Court rulings and bills of rights, well, this is a millen ia old tactics of declaring one thing and doing the other. Otherwise why the USA has more inmates than any other country in the world, why CIA is the most vital player on the markets of international sex trafficking and drug trade, why no matter who is the President in the USA the policy of supporting Federal Reserve and friendship with Israel remains intact? Not by chance, the USA was designed by the Founding Fathers from the very beginning not as a Christian "Democracy", but a syna rchy where the real ruling class consists of high-degree Freemasons and is following orders from its masters in Europe. As soon as the USA serves its purpose of creating chaos, promulgating degenerate culture and starting enough wars it will be de scareded and destroyed by the very same Freemasons, whose brothers had found it. This is the usual result of playing games with the Devil - you always lose.
Shemin Wang
Shemin Wang 2 өдрийн өмнө
All Shit
Jane King
Jane King 2 өдрийн өмнө
But he loves you...lmao!
Nathaniel Hellerstein
Nathaniel Hellerstein 2 өдрийн өмнө
An office temp with a bad attitude? You mean... like Wally from Dilbert?
Benjamin Grimes
Benjamin Grimes 2 өдрийн өмнө
You don't have to be religious to believe in God. The metaphysical is real; the evidence for two polar opposite "powers" that oppose eachother can be seen everywhere. Our conscience alone is proof of God: we intuitively know right from wrong. Just being sentient and conscious gives us ample evidence. There is something _greater_ than us.
Benjamin Grimes
Benjamin Grimes 2 өдрийн өмнө
@Mat Cummings Yes, I do.
Mat Cummings
Mat Cummings 2 өдрийн өмнө
You male up lots of statements. Do you have proof?
Dzmitry Marenich
Dzmitry Marenich 2 өдрийн өмнө
This man was Socrates reborn.
Connie Concepcion
Connie Concepcion 2 өдрийн өмнө
I remember many years ago when, in an otherwise interesting conversation, with a young Muslim woman, that I was raised a Catholic but became an agnostic. She suggested that I should rethink “God” and become a Muslim. My reply was this: Seriously? I already left one violent, monotheistic, patriarchal religion, so I sure as shit not going to join another violent, monotheistic patriarchal religion. She said Islam treated women so much better. My reply was, then why is it that the testimony of one woman in court is only half as valid as a man’s in a Sharia court? Aren’t my, words, your words, o any other woman’s words valid in any court? Am I not capable of speaking my own truth without having some man verify that I’m capable of speaking the truth under oath, in any court, religious or secular?” She said, “Christianity didn’t even allow women to testify in a courtroom until the ninteenth century,” as if that would actually make me convert. I finally threw this at her: Since you believe in the same god as Judaism and Christianity, have you ever noticed the inconsistency with the story of Cain. Cain killed his brother, Abel, and he was cursed to walk the earth for all time. However, what to him when the Great Flood happened, and Noah had to get his family and all the animals on the ark? Where was Cain? Did he drown because, if so, then, that removes his curse. No one knows the final fate of Cain, and no one has ever pointed this inconsistency out. And the flood story is ripping off the Epic of Gilgamesh.” Needless to say, she had no credible comeback, except I was told I hated Muslims, something which never even entered the conversation, and she had a massive hissy fit an stormed away, which all proved my and, of course, Carlin’s, point to be right: religion is bullshit.
JeffDragon Magnetar
JeffDragon Magnetar 2 өдрийн өмнө
George was the best! He made the most sense out of anyone out there that thought they was a preacher. George was the most real!
ミIɳƚҽɾɠαʅαƈƚιƈ Sραƈҽ Kιƚƚҽɳ ඏ
ミIɳƚҽɾɠαʅαƈƚιƈ Sραƈҽ Kιƚƚҽɳ ඏ 2 өдрийн өмнө
I just want everyone to know that we're all stuck here on Earth trying to figure out why and how the fuck we are here (like the why SOMETHING, instead of nothing? question. I understand evolution, but I'm talking ALL OF IT, the universe and all, you know). We are ALL trying to navigate this existence, we all have our own life experiences, we all question the whys and hows of life and existence, and not one of us knows the answer to any of this. Is there a higher being? Who the fuck knows? Everybody has their own reasons and personal experiences on why they have the beliefs that they hold, but I think we should all understand that we're ALL trying to figure it the fuck out too, so don't push your beliefs on someone, ESPECIALLY if you don't want someone to do it to you! Because not one of us know anything as a FACT, so why do we have people so confidently going about acting like it's a fact that God exists or vise versa? We don't know! We're all clueless on this, we don't know. So we can only guess and some agree with certain guesses more than others. It really shouldn't be a big deal, but humans made it a big deal and it sucks.
D 2 өдрийн өмнө
Why is there so few full performances of the master George Carlin. Just seems to be lots of videos of only a few minutes.
Zmaj od Nocaja
Zmaj od Nocaja 3 өдрийн өмнө
Disgusting cynical sh-t from a moron who helped create a generation of degenerates who suck off blm and take drugs and destroy their society, and declare they are super moral without religion.
radiootoo 3 өдрийн өмнө
"I gotta tell you the truth". Carlin is dust.
Mr. XYZ 3 өдрийн өмнө
You will be one day, But people will always remember him. so jokes one you, pal.
Lucrezio Caro
Lucrezio Caro 3 өдрийн өмнө
ABOUT RELIGION: Although all men are interested in knowing the truth, there are few who make use of this power. Some are not able to carry out research on their own, others do not want the burden of lugging. You must not, therefore, surprising that the world is full of theories vain or ridiculous: nothing more and able to give them ongoing that ignorance, and ignorance is the only force of false ideas that you have on the Divine, on the Soul , on spirits and almost all other concepts concerning Religion(that why in the world there are thousands different religions). Prevails routine, you are happy with the prejudices inculcated from birth,blindly believes in people-proclaimed men of God, without using logic and common sens.. impostors like pastor,that have privileges and economic interests through religion.. but the worst part is that teaches people to believe without doubt,"faith that does not doubt is not faith is stupidity" !! The important thing in life is happiness and try to be better person!!! it is not God created human beings, but is human beings created God to take advantage of weak and vulnerable people!!
Michael Nolan
Michael Nolan 3 өдрийн өмнө
An American treasure, humanity is so lucky to have been graced by Carlin
Τασος Ταμπουρανζης
Τασος Ταμπουρανζης 3 өдрийн өмнө
Its different for any religion not all are the same and churches and clerks and any one that soeak about religions doesn't mean that the god that exists is saying this bullshit that you have been listening too
Leonid Popkov
Leonid Popkov 3 өдрийн өмнө
Priceless classic...
Vardan Nadirian
Vardan Nadirian 3 өдрийн өмнө
The US leaves Afghanistan, the soldiers received post-traumatic disorder during their years of service in the army, and now the US and NATO want to fight with the Russian Federation? where is the unity of the UN?
Joshua Green
Joshua Green 2 өдрийн өмнө
Spoiler alert. Russia is the bad guy
Brian Bommarito
Brian Bommarito 3 өдрийн өмнө
George Carlin’s first skit on religion had some funny moments, but then at the end he said “God bless Joe Pesci.” But George, you just got through telling us that God don’t exist. Why are you wishing an imaginary man to pour out blessings on Joe?”
Joshua Green
Joshua Green 2 өдрийн өмнө
Joe is god, he's just asking joe to bless himself
Adam Sawyer
Adam Sawyer 3 өдрийн өмнө
watching this video should be a legally enforced rite of passage
Adam Sawyer
Adam Sawyer 3 өдрийн өмнө
so ahead of his time....
FERNANDO G 3 өдрийн өмнө
This sounds like the CIA god they built to torture inosent people the other god is just not what we thought.
Jay Greentree
Jay Greentree 3 өдрийн өмнө
religion and believing in God are 2 different things.
Deep Space Angel
Deep Space Angel 3 өдрийн өмнө
The hebrew bible studies ad on this video is extra funny now xD
michael johnson
michael johnson 3 өдрийн өмнө
This world needs more George Carlin's
sapen pen
sapen pen 3 өдрийн өмнө
George Carlin thank you for being brave for telling the truth. RI Fucking P!
Jiraiya Senpai
Jiraiya Senpai 3 өдрийн өмнө
Christopher Merritte
Christopher Merritte 3 өдрийн өмнө
Well it is said in the bible that we live in a fallen creation so....yea...
Christopher Merritte
Christopher Merritte 3 өдрийн өмнө
Satan ooops,i mean lucifer was responsible for that
Jeffery Russell
Jeffery Russell 3 өдрийн өмнө
Poor George. He underestimated God's time-space continuum.
jalamela Ki
jalamela Ki 3 өдрийн өмнө
Ha Ha Ha ! !
Kamal Harris
Kamal Harris 4 өдрийн өмнө
God bless you George carlin.professional comedian of you.
James Link
James Link 4 өдрийн өмнө
If I was God I would just destroy the whole planet
Joshua Green
Joshua Green 2 өдрийн өмнө
He did that once. Didn't really work out how he planned I guess.
James Link
James Link 4 өдрийн өмнө
People are all degenerate
James Link
James Link 4 өдрийн өмнө
God provides I've never been hungry
James Link
James Link 4 өдрийн өмнө
This George Carlin guy I never thought it was funny he's really not
vasari corridor
vasari corridor 4 өдрийн өмнө
what george couldn't say .. but wanted too Enslaved & Sold by Our B(e)thing Certificates Background knowledge of Your birth and Marriage Certificates as a Global and National Fraud and what you can do about it: It is important to know that when you are born you have entered a Crime scene as you are sold for money to the banks : They make money out of you from a bond created from your birth certificate signed by your mother:
vasari corridor
vasari corridor 4 өдрийн өмнө
yes, masons would have you believe masontre is nothing but a group of fairies tip toeing around waving their wands sprinkling fairy dust hither and yon, nothing evil about that! whats all the fuss...........
Cosmos Wonder Dog
Cosmos Wonder Dog 4 өдрийн өмнө
I listen to this collection of truths every Sunday. Thanks George.
shockofgod 4 өдрийн өмнө
George Carlin was a nut job. It sad he is in hell right now but what can you do? You just can't get through to stupid sometimes. Let's not let his going to hell be in vain. Let's avoid being a dumb ass like he was.
moderatingmoderation169 3 өдрийн өмнө
Hey George Carlin was the legend and you'll always be nothing
A.R.P. Management
A.R.P. Management 4 өдрийн өмнө
Me too, I became the sun worshipper overnight!
Skip Mars
Skip Mars 4 өдрийн өмнө hell now.
chad rocca
chad rocca 4 өдрийн өмнө
I'm not against abortion. Just five abortions is to much. Wtf. My wife. I love her but where do you draw the line.
Wolferal 4 өдрийн өмнө
Why do you cut out parts?
David Sturges
David Sturges 4 өдрийн өмнө
There is no fool like an old fool
Oleg Petelevitch
Oleg Petelevitch 4 өдрийн өмнө
man made shit !
Hull Style Productions Change the World
Hull Style Productions Change the World 4 өдрийн өмнө
Each religion institution should have to pay taxes on building, anyone who is employed, and anything else that doesn't go directly to people. The money meant to be donated to the poor should go through a third party to distribute by independent party not affiliated with the church.
Kos Das
Kos Das 4 өдрийн өмнө
Isaac Hiew
Isaac Hiew 4 өдрийн өмнө
my religion is google. ask and you will be given an answer
radiootoo 3 өдрийн өмнө
You'll be given a million answers. I want THE answer!
Ivo MIller
Ivo MIller 4 өдрийн өмнө
Awesome analogy
mark 5 өдрийн өмнө
Lol pray to Joe
Rodney Johnstone Prime
Rodney Johnstone Prime 5 өдрийн өмнө
Thanks for this great content of the best ever!
Xuebin He
Xuebin He 5 өдрийн өмнө
can someone explain the joke at 26:02? : )
Signity 4 өдрийн өмнө
12cm32 5 өдрийн өмнө
4600 thought George was right. Their invisible friend was more important than YOURS. WHY CANT WE ALL BE FRIENDS? The Government doesn’t want us to. We are though, that’s why they throw shit at us...
12cm32 5 өдрийн өмнө
Vinnie G
Vinnie G 5 өдрийн өмнө
RIP to this absolute legend
Brock LaPlume
Brock LaPlume 5 өдрийн өмнө
I believe george made it to heaven! Reason? If you read the bible... satan runs earth... he is pissed at satan! He Hates satan! And a LOT of people dont even know they are worshipping him without realizing it! Guess the atheists are not for satan's workings
Jason Nester
Jason Nester 5 өдрийн өмнө
Yes gotta 100000% disagree with this one
Jason Nester
Jason Nester 3 өдрийн өмнө
@moderatingmoderation169 I doubt it
moderatingmoderation169 3 өдрийн өмнө
I'm sure everyone will listen to you
perfect touch
perfect touch 5 өдрийн өмнө
hahaha BRILLIANT george carlin
Vince Troy
Vince Troy 5 өдрийн өмнө
May God rebuke u!
Fred Schmidt
Fred Schmidt 5 өдрийн өмнө
George was a soothsayer. Way ahead of the rest. Bill Hicks too. Comic genius. Thanks for the compiled vid Matti.
John Texan
John Texan 5 өдрийн өмнө
Only an asshole would put a Christian dating advertisement on a video that disputes it.
Scott Ventrilla
Scott Ventrilla 5 өдрийн өмнө
Spot on with all of it
Muhamad Farhan
Muhamad Farhan 5 өдрийн өмнө
Joe pesci bless joe pesci
Blair Mitchell
Blair Mitchell 5 өдрийн өмнө
My man! RIPower, George Carlin - huge Respect
Miltone Services
Miltone Services 2 өдрийн өмнө
@Jeffery Russell You're weird. Stop talking to me
Jeffery Russell
Jeffery Russell 2 өдрийн өмнө
@Miltone Services I actually didn't get to finish....I mean, and these holier than thou spirits of everybody in Heaven, smiling down at you? The nerve of those pricks! How do you know they are smiling down at you? Grandma especially, smiling down? How do you know Grandma is "up there"? Everybody just assumes that, you know? It never occurs to anybody that Grandma could be in Hell? Baking pies and cookies without an oven! She could be looking up from "down there," screaming out in agony and pain! But we don't like to think of that! We don't want to think of people in Hell because Hell is too bad for anybody to wind up in except the REALLY BAD people! Like Adolph Hitler, or that prick Joseph Stalin. But you know, if I was the Devil, I wouldn't want these guys in Hell with me because they would constantly be trying to take over. And if they took over Hell? Where the Devil am I supposed to go? I guess I would end up in Heaven anyway, but I can't, cuz I don't believe in it.
Miltone Services
Miltone Services 3 өдрийн өмнө
@Jeffery Russell you dropped your edge
Jeffery Russell
Jeffery Russell 3 өдрийн өмнө
George would never have wanted you to memorialize him by saying, RIP- "Rest in Peace." Why? Well, first of all, there is no peace- not where he's at, unfortunately. Peace is in Heaven which George already admitted he didn't believe in, and George wouldn't have wanted to live in Heaven, anyway. picture this, a bunch of dead dudes floating on clouds with halos on their heads strumming harps! And for all eternity. Now tell me, does that sound like a good place to be for a guy who worked hard all his life not doing stuff he really wanted to do so he could go to a place he would be bored in for all eternity. It wouldn't be so peaceful if you are bored. And occasionally smiling down at your loved ones. For me it would be frustrating as hell. Frustrating as Hell? Then you might as well send me to Hell. Its much more honest, much more just. Besides all my buddies are there. I just wouldn't fit in in Heaven, anyway. Too many people floating on clouds looking down on me acting "holier than thou!"
Miltone Services
Miltone Services 5 өдрийн өмнө
He’s burning in hell
Shai Hulud
Shai Hulud 5 өдрийн өмнө
About the soldiers dying for "god" and their "country": that's why "God was never on your side" from Motorhead is such a great song.
Mike Stand
Mike Stand 4 өдрийн өмнө
the iran iraq war the soldiers were both fighting each other for the same god!
Hull Style Productions Change the World
Hull Style Productions Change the World 4 өдрийн өмнө
We are blessed with a planet only human beings drew the lines.
Oskar Ostermann
Oskar Ostermann 5 өдрийн өмнө
Great great guy! 😄 Blasphemic greetings from Germany. 👍
rippl3r0 6 өдрийн өмнө
I can't trust a person who blames all their problems on imaginary friends.
Sooner Orlater
Sooner Orlater 6 өдрийн өмнө
I loved/love George Carlin (smiles). And....I love GOD. (more smiles) Both are proven "BRILLIANT"......and....."BEYOND". Why do I say this? Do Peeps read the Bible/Quran/The Teaching Of Buddha/The Bhagavad Gita/ Torah/ .....etc.....? I believe GOD comes to us ALL in GOD's own way. It is up to U to accept GOD's WAY or not. (biggest smiles & hugs) GOD BLESSES ALL 4-EVER !!!
oning singson
oning singson 6 өдрийн өмнө
This guy is telling the truth.
vasari corridor
vasari corridor 6 өдрийн өмнө
Jordan Peterson meets Jesus you see Jesus is Real ...religion as Carlin states is real .. they are not one and the same away from religion fore your life depends on it. Jesus is " personal " just humble yourself in the silence of your home or in a forest or closet O Jesus O Savior I know not if you are real Come Come live in me .. Save me Amen and Amen Revelations 22:17 The Spirit and the bride say. "Come." Let the hearer say, "Come." Let the one who thirsts come forward, and the one who wants receive the gift of life giving water.
foto21com 6 өдрийн өмнө
What a brilliant edit for all the world, really. Carlin will be remembered long after our presidents and sports stars.
mostafa tabatabaei
mostafa tabatabaei 6 өдрийн өмнө
Man imagine what he would comment on instagram,tiktok etc.
Sourjyo Roy
Sourjyo Roy 6 өдрийн өмнө
Sun Worshipper!! Should've moved to India. We got a billion sun worshippers over here.
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